


Stop. Rewind. Play.

by spikeisthebigbad



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Romance, Time Travel, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-12 16:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16876119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeisthebigbad/pseuds/spikeisthebigbad
Summary: Set in season 5 of Angel and and alternate six in Buffy. Spike is hurled into the past, and given a chance to stop his abusive affair with Buffy.Meanwhile in the future Buffy must find a way to bring Spike back.





	1. Rewind

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Rewind by Poets of the Fall.   
> I have everything written already so I plan to update pretty rapidly. Hope you enjoy!

Spike inhaled smoke into his dead lungs as he awaited his turn in the spotlight. The dingy L.A. club reminded him of The Bronze.

A nancy-looking teenage kid finished his song, bowed diffidently and left the stage. As he passed Spike he muttered, "All yours, dude."

Spike took a last drag then flicked his cigarette to the floor. He stubbed it out with the toe of his boot, then strode onstage while settling his guitar strap over his shoulders. Vampire power allowed his eyes to pierce the bright lights to scan the crowd. He saw couples holding hands, hunched conspiratorially together. At the bar singles milled about, blokes hitting on birds and of giggling girls looking for trouble. In the back a table of giddy teenaged girls whispered behind their hands and giggled conspiratorially.

Spike knew their types, knew their stories, and he both liked them and was bored by them. He was adjusting the height of the microphone when he saw her, took a sharp intake of breath at sight of Buffy in the crowd. Her golden tresses tumbled over a black, V-cut blouse topping matching, skin-tight jeans. She looked back at him and their eyes locked and held. Intense green clashed with icy blue in silent violence.

Spike had to steady himself after the unexpected sight. He fingered the guitar's neck, finding the frets, and gave a couple of strums. He began to play and sing, finding Buffy's eyes again.

"What do we have but illusions

Where one man's absolute is another's choice

Giving in to confusion,

Till love and hate both tempt with the same voice."

His chest started to hurt. Regret stabbed at his brain, a phantom reawakened. His insides, the leave-alone spaces inside, smoldered. He translated the pain to the lyrics he sang.

"Won't you take me to a higher ground

I need to see again the way I'm bound

N' choose the uneasy redemption,

Run by fear and the flaws of attraction."

Her image burned into Spike, his eyes locked on her face, while swirling through his thoughts came recognition that he had wished her dead. Yearned to end the insanity of loving her.

"Run by fear and the flaws of attraction,

Rewind, I wanna go it again,

light up the dark, halo on the side

So I'll know it will not leave me wanting."

Lust. It was the lie he felt returning, the lie she believed. Now he wanted her, but it was not lust that welled up in his chest until his voice choked, the crowd taking it as a style variation, digging it. He felt alive, recalled being a living, breathing mortal – because here was the pain.

"I see my heart, waving me bye-bye

Rewind, I wanna go it again,

Light up the dark, halo on the side.

If life itself has a meaning."

His voice caught, too much. He stopped singing, and his fingers screwed up the chord. He leaned away from the mic and coughed, and his fingers found the proper seating.

"Is it anything more than what we choose to call it

Sweet words make appealing,

But they only serve to mask the smell of what you buried

Is it worth your while to spend on a lie."

Spike's eyes fogged and he lost her. A couple of blinks and he found her again. Nothing to read in her eyes – just watching him, expressionless, yielding nothing.

His fingers clawed through the next chords, his voice flinty.

"Even though you cannot see eye to eye

N' give in to the rumor seduction,

Run by fear and all the good intentions."

Rewind I wanna go it again, he said to her. He wanted to rewind and to do it again. Did she realize he was speaking directly to her now? He was mystified that she could stand so impassively, so unaffected as he beseeched her. His soulful tones were bringing several in the audience close to tears. He could sense their empathy, but in their reaction he had no interest. It was rubbish. Only her. Buffy must crack. He must see something, some surrender in her face, a blink, a twitch, anything but stone!

"Light up the dark, halo on the side."

He once taunted that she didn't belong in light, but with him, in the dark. Badboy. Wildman. He cut her with his tongue, bloodletting until he was weary.

"So I'll know it will not leave me wanting

Like my love kissing me bye-bye."

That night in her basement, before the last battle and his burning to a cinder, there was a connection. Love? Was love. Love making, love giving, lips had touched. Is love. Love, being.

"Rewind I wanna go it again."

His eyes begged Buffy's.

"Light up the dark, halo on the side."

Then the bad recollections.

"If this is how we think we make amends."

Hurting her, raping her.

Could she … forgive?

He forced his weakening fingers to strum with greater force.

"If this is how we think we make amends

Then we're in for a race that never ends."

Weariness clutched at Spike's throat, and he wanted to stop singing.

"And where is it we think we'll go

And what is it we think we know."

He staggered a little, his face dropping. From somewhere a new, stolid strength filled him, and his fingers flew with renewed energy over the strings. The words became new, springing from his voice as his own creation.

"I see my heart, waving me bye-bye

Rewind I wish I could go it again."

As Spike finished the crowd erupted into a cacophony. The clusters of girls stood clapping, moues of admiration on their lips, their faces streaked with wet makeup. He took off the guitar strap and hopped off the stage. He wended his way through the people toward Buffy, who stood unmoving. Hands slapped his back, voices cried out their approbation, all ignored as he moved intently toward her. In his head he repeated the last line of the song, a bitter smile creasing his mouth at the realization that it was less a song than it was his most fervent wish. He wondered if Buffy could possibly have missed it. He recalled how often she had seemed made of solid steel.

She was there, in front of him. He stopped, saying nothing. He could not meet her eyes, so he locked his gaze on her mouth.

Behind him, a woman with curly brown hair said softly, "Wish granted."

Buffy went pale.


	2. Ghost of Future's Past

Spike stumbled forward and fell to his knees. Even then he weaved with dizziness and had to brace himself with his hands on the ground. "Bugger," he cursed, and worked his vision back into focus.

He knelt before a house. It was a familiar, abandoned, dilapidated place. He realized the impossibility of being here, because this house was destroyed, along with all of Sunnydale. It was the place where he and Buffy had first ...

From inside the house came a violent crashing, and Spike lurched to his feet and shook the cobwebs from his head. He heared voices amid the clatter and realized exactly where he was.

His teeth gritted and he whispered, "Shite."

The front door was open. He blew through the front room and saw the two fighting. He saw Buffy shoved brutally against the wall by Spike, and he watched transfixed as his earlier self backhanded her and taunted her.

"I wasn't planning to hurt you ... much."

Buffy spat, "You haven't even come close to hurting me."

"Afraid to give me a chance?"

Buffy's arms shot up to break his hold, then she gripped his jacket and spun him over her hip and into the wall, cracking the plaster. She clutched his throat in a reinforced hold, pinning his head back.

The past Spike cheered her sarcastically, but Buffy pressed her lips against his mouth furiously and cut him off. Spike watched the two with growing distaste as they commenced to make out viciously, damaging the already trashed house. He charged in on them.

"Not this time 'round," he muttered, then bellowed, "Stop it, you bloody git!"

Buffy and Past-Spike recoiled and uncoupled, staring in disbelief. Buffy's eyes darted from one Spike to the other, her hands checking her clothes guiltily. "Spike. What is this?"

The Past-Spike glared at his alter ego. "You didn't have to go make a bleedin' 'bot, Slayer. I'm here. I'm willing."

Spike moved closer. He smiled at his past self disarmingly. His fist sprang out and smacked the past Spike in the nose. "Stupid prat! I'm disgusted to be you."

Past-Spike clutched his nose and glowered. "What's this prattle?"

Spike ignored him. "As long as I'm here - stop it." He faced Buffy guardedly. "That's not really me, you know." He tried to find the right words, failing and angry at himself for his failure. "I won't let you hurt her," he said at last to Past-Spike. "Not now. Not ever."

Buffy grabbed his shoulder and spun him to face her. "Who are you?"

Spike met her eyes. It had been such a long time since he had been with her, and he had to bite down the urge to snatch her into an embrace. "I'm Spike," he said weakly, "I'm him ... only from the future."

Past-Spike scoffed. "Yeah, sure."

Buffy crossed her arms defiantly. "Prove it."

Spike found a rubble pile and sat, gesturing at the pair. "I know what you and him - uh, me - were about to do."

Past-Spike rolled his eyes. "And you stopped us? Some mate you are."

Spike ignored him. "I also know about all the trouble the three nerds are causing you, Buffy. It'll get worse."

Buffy challenged, "How much worse?"

"One of those nerds will shoot you, and Tara will get hit by a stray bullet and die. For revenge, Red gets into some heavy magics, almost ends the world."

Buffy clenched and unclenched her jaw. "Lies."

Spike shrugged. "If you don't believe me, explain what I'm doing here?"

Past-Spike snorted. "If this is true, what will I be doing as this happens?"

"Contained ... elsewhere." Spike answered haltingly.

Buffy's lips were tight. "You leave?"

Spike stood up and worked his shoulders, dying for a smoke. "For a few months. Had to go, couldn't be helped. But I came back."

Buffy nodded. Spike could read the play of emotions in her, the relief, followed by the air of uncaring, as though Spike's presence or absence wasn't important to her. "So, where'd you go?"

"Can't tell you. It doesn't happen for a while yet."

Past-Spike laughed derisively. "Oh, some future boy you are. You break up our snog, then clam up and keep secrets. Don't let the door smack you in the arse on your way out. We have some business to attend to."

Spike threw himself onto Past-Spike and they flew to the ground. Spike knelt on top of his earlier self. "You don't touch her, got it? Not ever."

Past-Spike tried to throw him off, but he held on relentlessly. "Well, why the hell not? I'm you, after all. Don't you have the same feelings?"

Spike got off him, pulled him upright and backed off. "Yes, I have the same feelings, William. I don't want the same things to happen. Not this ... not this way. Tonight wasn't the time."

Buffy stepped between them. "Don't talk like I'm not here."

Spike shrugged. "You shouldn't be here. Go home, don't be seduced by him - by me. You're good, you deserve someone whole."

Buffy took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Why are you acting like this? You're not acting like my Spike - I mean, not my Spike, I mean the -"

"I've changed, Buffy," Spike interrupted. "Him? He can't even imagine what I've seen, the things I've gone through. I'm changed. I'm not ... no longer a monster."

Past-Spike clapped his hands.

"What happened?" Buffy asked. "And don't say you can't tell me."

Spike brushed his fingers against her cheek. She shifted her feet uncertainly but didn't move away. Spike felt tears come and he blinked them away.

Buffy regarded him blandly. "I didn't know vampires could cry. Except for ..." she trailed off.

Spike nodded. "Angel," he rasped.

Past-Spike regarded his double searchingly. "I get cursed with a soul?"

Spike shook his head. "No curse, my younger, stupider self. We win our soul back. We fight for it, bleed for it, endure unspeakable agonies."

Buffy grabbed his arm. "Why?"

"Don't fall for that line of shite, Slayer. He's lying. Prob'ly a demon going for a possession, or some robot the dorks have sent to take you off your game. Go on, cut him, or break something, no blood in that fake shite. He's all tears. You won't see the real me blubbering like a baby after the tit."

Spike closed his eyes, reveling in Buffy's touch, the heat from her hand sending sparks through his skin. He loved this, her fire.

"I got it because I hurt you, Buffy. I hurt you, and I swore I would die or get my soul back, because I wanted to give you what you deserved."

"That's what I was going to do," Past-Spike muttered.

Buffy caressed Spike's cheek, and Spike inclined his head into her touch. He longed to kiss her but dared not push, yearned to take her in his arms but held back, the effort overwhelming him so that for a moment he felt woozy and vulnerable. The Spike of the past could kill him if he attacked, he would put up no defense. But Buffy would defend him. This knowledge made him smile. He knew he couldn't have her, but the memory of her lips on his was burned in his memory, which meant that they would kiss. She may be forbidden fruit, but he was destined to have a taste.

Past Spike knocked him to the ground. He leapt on him, ignoring Buffy's cry to stop. "Lyin' wanker!" he snarled and punched. "Go. Away. Bloody liar."

Spike's assurance of Buffy's protection was punched away, and he vamped out in irritation. Grabbing Past-Spike's lapels, he headbutted him and then flipped him over. He got to his feet and kicked Past-Spike in the ribs.

"Quit it dummy," Spike graveled. "We're equally matched, damn you. I am you."

"Bollocks that," Past-Spike returned, and punched at Spike's groin. Spike jumped back and angrily kicked his younger self in the face. Past-Spike fell back, semi-concious.

"Maybe I picked up some better moves along the way," he gloated.

"That was fun," Buffy commented, and took hold of Spike's elbow, steering him to the door. "We need to get to The Magic Box. And get rid of that."

At Spike's look of askance she indicated his face, and he forced it to unvamp, following her dutifully.

Past-Spike stirred. Hate burned in his eyes and he hissed, "This ... isn't over, mate. She's ... mine."


	3. The Wish

"No!" Buffy screamed as Spike disappeared before her eyes.

Buffy grabbed the Vengeance Demon by her jacket and hauled her over the table.

"Where'd he go?" Buffy hissed.

The woman tried to pull away. "How would I know?"

"You're one of those damned Vengeance Demons, that's how." She shook the woman until her teeth rattled.

"I prefer the term Justice Demon, thank you." She reached up to push her arrant curls back in place. "My name is Halfrek. And I simply granted William his wish."

"I know all about that dodge," Buffy snarled. "Tell me what he wished, now."

Halfrek smiled defiantly.

Buffy gripped Halfrek's arm with both hands and pulled her toward the exit. A guy in a poly blend shirt stepped in front of them. He held a Margarita glass with a tiny bit of red drink swirling around in it.

"Hey," he slurred, "where're you beautiful ladies going?"

"Make her let me go," Halfrek said with mock panic. "She said I can't ask you to dance or take you home for sex. She says you're a loser."

"Yeah?" The guy put his hand on Buffy's shoulder, but it slipped and he cupped her breast.

With a flick of her arm Buffy solved the problem of the lush. She hauled Halfrek past his prone body.

"I'll come with you," Halfrek insisted as Buffy jerked her along. "Do you act like this with everyone? Maybe you can teach me something."

"I'm not a sleazy demon, just doing my job," Buffy tossed.

They got to the fire exit and Buffy shoved it open. An alarm sounded, but she quickly slammed the door. In the alley she let go of Halfrek's arm, confident the demon couldn't zap out before she could grab her.

"Were you just doing your job with William? You have caused him tremendous pain. How do you think he feels about that?" Halfrek sneered.

Buffy's fist collided with Halfrek's chin and the demon dropped flat on her back.

"You were at Anya's wedding weren't you?"

Halfrek smiled uncertainly as she rolled to her knees. "You don't have to punch me to get an answer. I was there, so what?"

"So, socks," Buffy spat. "I don't have a high opinion of Vengeance Demons. You are also the beyotch who locked me and my friends in the house on my birthday."

Halfrek climbed to her feet and cocked her head defiantly. "Yes, it was me. I don't deny it. Your sister made a wish, and I —" she held up her hands. "You're not going to punch me again, are you?"

Buffy replied, "Let's just say I may want to grant you your wish at any second. If you don't tell me where you sent Spike for example, I'd figure you're wishing for some bloody Chiclets in your mouth."

Halfrek huffed indignantly. Buffy planted her feet and Halfrek threw up a hand.

"Wait. Wait. I knew William back when he was William. William the Bloody, he was called; a poet of tender sensibilities and gentle mien."

"I asked where he is, not what he was. But I am curious. You knew him as a human?"

"Yes dear, I was known as Cecily then. I'm afraid that at the time, I hurt dear William immensely, as you do now, from what I hear. I quite broke his heart. We have that in common," Halfrek said.

Buffy's face was stone. "Where is he?"

Halfrek's eyes studied Buffy's face. "Do you love him?"

"Where is he?" Buffy snapped.

Halfrek's expression hardened. "Answer the God damned question, Slayer. You get your answers when I get mine."

Buffy's eyes burned. She hesitated, then let her fists relax. "Yes," she whispered.

"Eh?" Halfrek looked blank. "A little louder, please."

"I said yes." Buffy said loudly.

A satisfied smirk crossed Halfrek's face and Buffy wanted to wipe it off. "Fine then, I'll give you a fighting chance to bring him back. It's the best I can do.

"He's in another time, and another dimension. Pretty far off the mapped areas, so finding him won't be a cinch. He said he wanted 'to rewind', so that's exactly what I did for him."

Halfrek shut her mouth and gazed expectantly at Buffy.

"So how does he get back?"

"You must bring him." Halfrek said as though Buffy was an idiot for lacking that knowledge.

"What dimension is he in, what time?" Buffy asked, her temper rising again.

Halfrek pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Good questions and I suppose it is quite a challenge not knowing the answers. You find him, bring him home and he will be certain of your love. After such a test, I mean."

Buffy grabbed Halfrek by the throat. Her hands grasped nothing. Halfrek had conjured a double image. The real Halfrek backed away laughing, and made a broad gesture that ended with her popping out of existence. Her ghostly image remained for a moment, wisping away in the night air.

Buffy roared and kicked a pallet down the alley. She raised her face to the sky.

"Angel!" she yelled.

Buffy stormed into Angel's office. "What did you know," she demanded, "and when did you know it?"

Angel looked up. "Huh?"

Buffy rounded the desk and pulled Angel from his chair. She threw him against the wall and stood with her arms akimbo.

"Don't hand me any crap, Angel. You suck at lying, so spill."

An amused smile pushed at Angel's mouth, but he held it down.

"He came back in the amulet I gave you."

"That was lost in Sunnydale. So I wanna know how you got it?"

"Um. Well …"

"Hey!"

"I'm thinking! Okay, three weeks after Sunnydale collapsed it came in the mail. The envelope had no return address or even a postmark. The amulet was the only thing in it. After I took it out Spike just appeared out of nowhere."

He ran a hand through his hair. "He was incorporeal at first, couldn't touch or be touched. If it wasn't for that I'd have thrown his ass out.

"By the way, how'd you get in here without anyone notifying me?" Angel asked.

"Your security is flawed," Buffy said, void of emotion.

"More like nonexistent," Angel grumbled.

Buffy took a breath, then exhaled and hopped onto Angel's desk. She crossed her legs and scratched her scalp frustratedly. "So, when was it that Spike went corporeal?"

Angel made an annoyed noise. "About a month ago. He left to be a hero on his own. Said he wanted nothing to do with Wolfram and Hart."

Buffy snorted, "At least some vampires have standards."

Angel rolled his shoulders helplessly. "Okay, okay, I know what you think of us. Where Spike went, what he planned to do, he didn't share with any of us. I'd let you know if I had any idea, you know that.

"Say, where was it you saw him, anyway?" Angel questioned.

"At a night club, he was performing. After his song he was walking over to me, and poof. He was gone."

Angel's brow crinkled. He sat on the edge of the desk. "He was performing? Did anyone record it?"

Buffy's mouth was a hard line. "So you could make fun of him?"

"Not that, it's just I have a friend here, Lorne. He can hear someone sing and kind of get a fix on what's going to happen. If he could hear Spike sing, he may be able to tell us something. Usually it has to be in person, but we can try."

Buffy leaned back on her arms. "It was a Vengeance Demon who did this. Spike apparently told her he wanted to rewind, whatever that means. So she made him rewind. She said he's now in another time and another dimension."

"Do you know the demon's name?"

"She told me. Halfca … no. Halftrack. No, it's something like —" Buffy grunted.

"Halfrek?" Angel said.

Buffy sat straight. "You know her?"

"Yeah. She's a preeminent demon, been around longer than I have."

Angel pressed a button on his intercom. "Harmony, are you there?"

He waited. "Harmony?"

"Uh — yes, I'm here boss. Sorry, I was putting a file —"

"Save it, I know you've been away. That's fine. Look, I want you to get Fred, Wesley and Gunn in here. Also Lorne. Ask them to please meet me in my office."

He cut off the button in the middle of her reply.


	4. The Team

Buffy watched unseeingly from her spot on a couch across from Harmony's desk as employees flittered about.

She jumped in surprise as Lorne's too cheerful voice broke her bubble.

"Someone please get this girl a Seabreeze A.S.A.P. I don't think that frown is going anywhere without a little lubrication."

He sat beside Buffy, facing her.

"Hi there … Lorne?" Buffy waited for his nod. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"No, but there's something I can do for you Aurora."

"Aurora? What's an Aurora?" Buffy asked wearily. She wanted nothing more than to shut herself away until Spike returned.

"Aurora is Sleeping Beauty's real name." Lorne smiled.

"Ah, who's my prince?" Buffy's asked.

"That's what I'm here to find out. I was serious when I said I could help. Maybe not much, but I could clear some of the confusion." Lorne leveled his eyes to Buffy's.

Buffy asked, "How?"

"Sing for me, I'll tell you what I see," Lorne said.

Buffy groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "What should I sing?" she mumbled against her palms.

"Whatever you want, Buffy. Just nothing by Diane Warren … well, except Rhythm of the Night."

Buffy nodded and sat up straight, taking a deep breath. "If I only could, make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places. Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building."

Lorne rubbed her shoulder. "You love him."

Buffy clucked her cheek. "Already knew that."

"Yeah, but you aren't concrete in your belief of love anymore. You need to be, and no matter what happens, remember it. You guys really love each other. Spike is definitely the prince to wake you, princess."

"What do you mean, 'no matter what happens?' What's going to happen?" Buffy said, her eyebrow lifted in question.

Lorne shook his head. "I'm not the one who can answer that question. You and Angel have to talk about this. There are a few things you don't know about what's happened here with Spike. Ask Angel for a play-by-play."

Before Buffy could question Lorne further, Angel burst into the room with a tall blue woman on his heels.

"Illyria, I don't know where Spike is. Will you leave me alone!" Angel stomped into his office and slammed the door.

"Who's the smurf?" Buffy whispered.

Lorne sighed, "Long story."

Illyria's eyes fell on Lorne and she strode to him and commanded him to tell her where Spike was.

"Honey bunny, that's the million dollar question."

Illyria frowned. "Who lost my pet? No one should dare steal my things, if they try I kill them. I demand to know what happened to Spike."

Buffy looked at Lorne. "Is this chick for real?"

"Of course I'm real. Do I appear synthetic to you?"

Buffy muttered under her breath, shaking her head. "Never seen a tall smurf before."

Illyria crossed her arms. "Tiny human, do you know where my pet is?"

Buffy stared up at her incredulously. She said, "Two things, Smurfette. One, I may look little, but I pack a punch. And two, Spike isn't your pet."

Illyria dropped her hands to her side and glared menacingly at Buffy. "Spike is my pet, underling. I shall teach you to hold your tongue."

Buffy lunged to her feet and gave Illyria a hard shove with both hands. Illyria was forced back a few steps and she cocked her head puzzledly at the unexpected strength of the puny human. "Bring it," Buffy hissed. "I've killed demi-gods before. I doubt I'll even break a sweat on a not-so-jolly blue giant like you."

Lorne put himself between the god and the slayer. "Girls, girls, let's not fight. It won't help anyone if you two beat each other into a pulp."

Neither woman answered as they glared at one another.

Lorne held his palms out soothingly. "Buffy, why don't you go talk to Angel? Illyria, you can come with me and we'll talk about what happened to your … er, pet."

Illyria spun on her heels. "I go because it suits me."

Lorne walked backwards so he could see Buffy. "Well, if you need me I'll be in my office with my blueberry girl."

The edges of Buffy's lips quirked up. "Thanks Lorne, but I'm sure I can get Angel to talk all by my lonesome."

Buffy swung around and marched in to Angel's office. She stormed to Angel's desk and slapped her it with her palms, leaning across so her face was close to his. "What are you keeping from me?"

Angel leaned back in his chair and regarded her mildly. "Hi to you too."

Buffy pushed herself up, snarling at Angel. "Don't give me that shit. Tell me what I want to know, or you'll be singing in falsetto from now on."

Angel motioned for her to sit in the chair across from him. He sighed as she crossed her arms and continued to stand. "I suppose you want more info on Spike. The big stuff would be Spike's almost going to hell–"

Buffy cried, "What? He died saving the freakin' world, doesn't that count for anything?"

Angel shrugged. "I don't know, but guys like me and Spike don't fool ourselves. We don't believing we're headed anywhere but hell. It's waiting for us, but all we can do is make right some of our wrongs."

Tears glazed over Buffy's eyes, but she blinked them back. "I can't believe that. Spike tried, he deserves to be in heaven."

Angel said, "Yeah, well someone doesn't agree. After becoming corporeal, Spike went off on his own for a while. He's been doing the odd job for me here and there. We went to Rome recently, got a demon head and watched you and the Immortal dance a bit." Angel's tone was cold, his features carefully made neutral.

Buffy's brow furled. "That wasn't me! I have decoys all over the world."

Angel sat up and a sly smile slowly started across his lips. "Is that right?" He chuckled bitterly. "Well, how were we supposed to know that? It's not like you tell me anything."

Buffy sat down. "Didn't Spike even try to talk to me ... or, who you guys thought was me?"

"Yeah. We tried. But after talking to Andrew, Spike decided to move on and leave you to your life."

Buffy's face turned down and she nonchalantly rubbed a knuckle across her eyes. The door swung open and Lorne, Wesley and Halfrek filed in.

As Halfrek saw Buffy she drew back cautiously. "Figures that the slayer would run to Wolfram and Hart. What favors do you owe because of this, I wonder?"

Buffy jaw went tight and she curled her lip at Halfrek. "I owe nothing to this stinking law firm. The C.E.O here is my ex, and Spike's Grandsire."

Halfrek mumbled under her breath, "Figures."

Lorne smiled and revealed Spike's leather coat and a tape recording of Spike singing at the club. "We're all ready to start our lyrical search for our blonde friend."


	5. With the Jaw of an Ass

Buffy and Spike entered the Magic Box to find the gang at the research table. Xander drew his hand out of a donut bag and glared at Spike. Dawn set her pen down on her homework, and Willow and Anya pushed back from their spell books.

Xander swung on Willow. "Why are they holding hands?"

Willow's lips bulged noncommittally. "I didn't do it."

Xander climbed to his feet and stepped toward them. "Buff," he intoned flatly, "I don't know why you're holding hands with fangless here, but are you all right?"

Buffy withdrew her hand self-consciously, and Spike shook his head and sighed.

"It's not a spell," he said.

"Shuddup," Xander snapped. "Buffy?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "This isn't just Spike, I mean ... he's from the future. And we weren't holding hands. I was leading him."

Willow said, "Future Spike? From when?"

"I'm back two years," Spike replied. "Want the results of the next World Cup match?"

Xander nodded and sat back down. "So Spike claims he's from the future to get you to hold his hand, and you believe him. Makes perfect sense."

Spike leaned on the table toward Xander. "I've had this year's quota of shite from you already. Keep your gob shut, goatboy."

Xander bit his lower lip, glaring back at Spike. His eyes shot to the others, who looked back at him with mixtures of gravitas and sympathy. He opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and lunged up toward Spike.

Buffy cried out, too late stop him.

Spike took a half-step back and blocked Xander's attack, turning it to the side and using his own weight to impel him forward. Xander staggered around, got his bearings and swung a fist. Spike ducked and drove a left hook into Xander's ribcage. Xander let out a guttural groan and bent double. He slowly sank to his knees.

Buffy gripped Spike's shoulders and forced him away.

Willow and Anya stood over Xander, helping him up and soothing him. His eyes bulged as he tried to force air back into his diaphragm. "Y-your, ... chip," he sputtered.

Buffy frowned. "That's right, what about your chip? You're not even in pain."

Spike fished out his cigarette pack and lipped a smoke. "No more chip, luv. You're going to have it removed next year, as a matter of fact. Would've killed me otherwise. I'm Samson with shoulder length hair, now.

"So mind your manners from now on," he told Xander.

Xander was back on his feet. "Where's a stake?" he gasped, looking around. "Don't we have a lot of stakes somewhere around here?"

"As if you're man enough to deliver it," Spike spat.

Willow put a timid hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You did that, Buffy?"

She grimaced. "Uh, no. Some later version of me did, so go hassle her."

"Oh look," Anya said, "you're confusing Xander."

Xander paced back and forth, from the cash counter back toward Spike. He mumbled angrily under his breath. Anya's words made him pause. He threw himself back into his chair and said, "Let's hear it. And give me the 'for dummies' edition."

Buffy told them the whole story, leaving out the fight, and subsequent kiss with Past-Spike.

Dawn piped up first. "So Spike, do you and Buffy hook up in the future?" Her eyes were lit with excitement. "I bet you two are like, some sort of romantic slaying duo - love by day, slaughter by night. I love that!"

Spike regarded her with a pained expression. Buffy started to say something.

"Are you, like, my brother-in-law?" Dawn went on. "Prob'ly you guys don't actually get married, I mean how could you, but you're together, right? Cool that you can have each other to lean on, watch each other's back and all. So are you my brother in law?"

Spike grinned at her enthusiasm. He was about to say yes, then the image of Buffy came to him unbidden. Her words - Ask me again why I can never love you - resounded in his mind. His grin faltered, and he cast down his eyes to examine the toes of his boots.

Buffy told Dawn that no, he wasn't her brother-in-law. Also, shut up. She waved her hand in front of Spike's face. "Hey, you in there?"

"Hmm?"

"You zoned out."

"I have a soul," Spike said.

"What?"

Buffy looked sidelong at the gang.

"What'd he say?" Xander asked.

"I have my soul back," Spike repeated. "Buffy knows, and now all of you should know too."

"That's awesome," Dawn breathed.

"H-how?" Willow asked.

"I already knew it," Anya stated smugly.

"What, so he got a soul in some curse," Xander scoffed. "Big deal. He probably did something so evil that we needed to stake him or soul him. Should have gone the dusty path." Xander snorted. "He should want to die now anyway."

Buffy gave him a hard look.

Spike's eyes shifted over each of them, falling finally on Buffy. He squared his shoulders uncomfortably. Xander wasn't completely wrong.

"I... can't. Sorry, I can't ... not right now," he mumbled and turned, hurrying out the front door.

Xander snorted. Willow shook her head at him and Dawn slapped his arm. Buffy hesitated a moment, then went after Spike.

"Buffy, wait," Xander cried.

Spike ran. Distance. He needed distance. Images flashed in his mind, forced from where he buried them last year. He could smell her tears. He could feel her squirm, trying to get free from him. He could hear her cry. God that sound would haunt him 'til his dying day. His feet knew the way to Restfield, and he collapsed several feet pass the gate. His eyes pressed closed tightly as his featured contorted with an emotional pain nearly physical. His soul burned him hollow, much like when he first won it. Much like when he first saw her again. He gasped, and shuddered.

"Oh god please, I can't…" Vivid. That night he almost… it was so vivid. He opened his eyes, trying to escape the image of her contorting in fear of him, of what he was going to do. Hot tears burned his eyes. He thought he worked pass the hatred he harbored for himself, but it seemed all he did was ignore it.

"Buffy," he whispered as she neared him. He ducked his head in shame, furiously scrubbing at his tears. "You shouldn't have followed me."

Buffy filled his arms with herself, wrapped her arms around him tightly and pressed her face to his. Spike, surprised, felt his stomach quiver, and his arms dropped. He found them moving of their own accord, embracing Buffy in return.

It touched him to the core, Buffy's willingness to be near him, to hug him. She wouldn't if she knew what he had done, he was sure of that, and it made him cry harder. He was ashamed and humiliated, which made him cry more.

"Shh," Buffy soothed, running her hand up and down the length of his back. "Okay, Spike. It's okay."

He burrowed his face into the hollow of her throat, seeking escape. Protection. Rivulets from his eyes wet strands of her blonde hair.

"Nuh," he protested, "I - I'm bad."

"Shh."

"No. Really. I shouldn't… you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't touch me."

But he held her tighter.

Buffy stared out at the darkness, at a loss. This wasn't Spike, not the familiar Spike she knew. This was someone human, and she didn't know what to think or what to do.

She tried to piss him off. "Spike, stop acting like a drama queen. Don't be a baby."

He yanked his head back, rubbed his eyes with a fist and scowled.

Maybe pissing him off was a mistake, Buffy thought.

"A ... drama queen?"

"I was just -"

"I'm a monster, Buffy. Don't let yourself forget that. I can't."

Buffy stifled a laugh. He was like a boy declaring his manhood. She looked at his sparkling eyes, his clenched jaw, his anguished expression and the thing that hit her was not that he looked boyish, or dramatic. He looked beautiful. Like a battle worn angel who saw far too much badness.

She leaned in to him and gathered his pouting lower lip into her teeth, biting him ever so gently. He jumped lightly in surprise, then submitted, returning the kiss. He moaned, and Buffy's mouth vibrated in electric tandem. She felt his hands at her hips, pulling her closer, felt his lips release her and wander down her neck, felt him linger at her throat. She shuddered with delicious fear and a swell of sensation made its way up and down her spine. She gripped his shoulders ferociously, intent on pulling him back. In betrayal her arms pulled him in closer, and Buffy raised her chin, discarding all caution as she invited Spike to do his worst, knowing he wouldn't tear into her, but not knowing it either.

Spike bit her. His teeth teased her lightly and he nipped her neck, then returned his lips to hers and they locked together, tongues intermingling and dancing, battling.

Forty yards away, Past-Spike's eyes burned as he watched them, murdering future Spike in his mind. He'd deliver a backhanded blow to Buffy after he was done with future Spike, and she'd hit the ground sniveling.

He'd refuse her, shaking her pleading arms off his leg. 

But Spike, she would reason, that was you. I love you now and forever.

He bit his knuckle and pondered that. The bint made good sense. She couldn't be blamed since, after all, it was him she longed to snog. The solution should not include a beating for the Slayer. Still, he couldn't allow the present circumstances to continue.

"There's room enough for just one of us in this town - er, time," he mused aloud.

Past-Spike watched future them go at it, and he recalled what future Spike had said. "So, neither of us are good enough for her, eh?" A humorless smile clenched the cigarette he held his lighter to. He puffed it to life and snapped the lid back on the lighter. He blew smoke at them then spat on the ground bitterly.

"This means war, now, doesn't it?"


	6. Angel's in the Outfield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has come to my attention that Halfrek was killed by her boss in season 7. My answer to this is that it was faked to hurt Anya and someone else was killed instead. *Facepalms* Sorry. I obviously need to rewatch 7. Feel free to make fun of me.

Lyrically searching for their "blonde friend," Lorne played the tape of Spike singing. Before it was quite over Lorne clicked it off and sat silently musing. Buffy jazzed her hands at him, eager for his thoughts.

Lorne clucked his tongue and said, "He wanted to stop your relationship and felt he was causing a lot of your pain."

Buffy exhaled quietly. She couldn't deny it. Both of them hurt each other, yet Lorne's dry take sent a lashing of guilt through her.

Lorne continued, "He hates himself. I saw ... some of the stuff that happened." He cleared his throat. "I-I think he's harkening back to the beginning of, um, what you guys had."

Buffy looked at her hands. "Okay, good to know. Tell me again why we can't just break Halfrek's necklace? Seems like an easy solution."

Angel sighed. "I told you Buffy, Wolfram and Hart represent D'Hoffyrn. Since Halfrek works for him, she's under our protection too."

Buffy stood and gave Halfrek a poison glance. "I don't care if you represent the Pope. Besides, I know you kill clients all the time. You don't have any respect for the rules, what's one more demon going to matter? Besides, I'm not saying kill her, just break the damn necklace! You don't represent the friggin' necklace, do you? Halfrek will become human, so represent her then."

Angel said, "D'Hoffyrn's been around too long. He's way too powerful. I make an enemy out of him, and ..." he shook his head.

Halfrek nodded agreement, eyes flitting warily from Angel to Buffy.

Buffy closed her eyes, holding her temper. "Would breaking the necklace bring Spike back?"

Angel reluctantly nodded, and seeing Buffy's closed eyes, said "Yeah. I suppose it would. You see, that's another bad result."

Buffy crossed her arms and let her eyes flicker onto Angel's. "I miss the Angel who wasn't afraid of some dusty old demon. I don't give a damn if he gets ticked at me."

Angel's expression hardened. "Maybe Spike doesn't even want you back, you ever think of that? Maybe he's happy right where he is."

Buffy leaned across the desk and gripped Angel's coat lapels. She hauled him toward her. "Get over your jealousy, Angel. I'm not giving up on him, and I'm getting him back with or without your help. Besides, Lorne could tell he loves me."

Angel looked down at the clenched fist that wrinkled his coat. Buffy withdrew her hand, and he sat back. "You want me to sing for Lorne?"

"Betcha you'd be disappointed if I sang for him right now."

Angel stood up and pointed to the door. "I want you out of my office. Get out of my building, get out of my life. I won't help you find that - bleached menace. By all means get him back, get your champion. But get him without my help."

Buffy stared at him levelly. She turned for the door.

"And if you do find him and he takes you, tell him -"

She looked back.

He sighed and sat down. "Tell him the better man won."

Buffy closed the door behind her.

Lorne expected Angel to order him out, too. He waited for a moment, watching his boss untense his neck muscles.

"What are you waiting for?" Angel said. "Get Wesley and go with her. Figure out where that annoying little grandchilde of mine is."

Lorne took Halfrek's arm and headed out. He gave his boss a beaming smile that Angel didn't see. In the street outside Buffy climbed into her rental car and rested her head against the steering wheel. The horn bleated, and she pulled back. She sagged against the headrest and watched the play of reddish light against her inner lids, resolving just to rest her eyes, and not let sleep overtake her.

After a few moments a knock on her window startled her from her reverie. Lorne stood by with Wesley and Halfrek in tow, smiling enthusiastically. Buffy turned the key and rolled the electric window down.

"What is it?"

Lorne explained that Angel wanted them to help her, but that necklace smashing was out of the question.

"But come with us to my old club and we can help you find our blondie bear. We better hurry though, or pretty soon our bird on a wire will get her fazing ability back and skip out on us before you can say 'Do Re Mi.' Whaddaya say?"

Buffy nodded. "I'd love your help, but we're taking my car. Get in."

Lorne frowned. "Sweetheart, we have luxury sedans, limos. This is a compact."

Buffy turned on the engine.

"You realize, we're helping you."

She gunned the motor.

They squeezed in and the Nissan Sentra lurched away from the curb. Buffy apologized for her poor driving skills.

"I'm still learning," she explained.

"How delightful," Wesley remarked, trying to find an agreeable situation for his feet.

Lorne gave her directions. Buffy didn't speak until they were headed into the club. "Caritas," she read on the sign above the door. "So, what is it we're going to do here?"

"Uh," Lorne replied. He hurriedly activated all the club's lights, then set some bottles up on the bar. "I'm going to mix a Sea Breeze for myself, and since Hallie here is going to favor us with a nice tune, would anyone else like a cocktail?"

They declined.

Halfrek scanned the karaoke playlist and chose Paper Moon. Buffy listened to her hit the soft notes and asked Lorne for a sip of his Seabreeze.

He held up a finger, concentrating on Halfrek's performance.

"Yes, it's only a canvas sky,

hanging over a muslin tree

but it wouldn't be make-believe if you believed in me ..."

Lorne took his drink back from Buffy and sipped long, then said, "I don't know a heck of a lot about dimensions, even if I am from a different one. If I had someone who could astral-project through dimensions, I could feel it out. Know anybody?"

Buffy rooted around her pants pockets and grinned as she produced her cellphone. "I can have someone here in a minute."

Wesley and Lorne exchanged surprised looks.

"And who would this be?" Wesley asked. "How far away is this person right now?"

Buffy finished typing a text message and set down her phone. "Willow. You remember? She can be here by ... how long does it take a text to reach someone? She's in England."

Wesley winced. "She'll need to catch a plane. From England to Los Angeles is a long flight, about-"

"About now." Buffy cried with a dramatic gesture. They looked around expectantly, but no one miraculously appeared.

"Ah, give it a second, maybe she didn't read it yet." Buffy watched the screen of her phone. "Just another second, I'm sure."

Wesley pursed his lips pessimistically. "I'm certain your friend has great magical abilities, but we should press on and find -"

A bright light flashed and Willow puffed into being a few feet away.

"You're right," Buffy told Wesley. "What do I know?"

"Buffy!" Willow squealed. The two ran into a hug and jumped up and down together.

"So good to see you! Me and Xander miss you so much."

"How is Xander?"

"Same as always. But he's such a cool watcher. Not like the total geeks the Council used to appoint."

Wesley looked pained.

"Wesley's here," Buffy pointed out.

"Oh," Willow said, and waved. "Hi, Wesley."

Wesley waved back sheepishly.

"I didn't mean all the Council's Watchers were geeks," Willow allowed.

Buffy cocked her eyebrows. "Giles is really cool."

Wesley flushed. "Yes, well. Could we get on with it, then?"

Buffy pulled Willow to the table. "Let me tell you everything."


	7. Ain't it Hell

Spike stared blankly at Buffy's basement wall. Sleep was out, so he sat on the cot Buffy set there for him as his mind played tricks - he kept envisioning he was facing the First again, burning to a cinder while smirking like an idiot.

Time dragged. Sunrise was several hours away. Perhaps I should like a little walk outside, he thought. "Or perhaps I'd like a drink," he said aloud. "Yeah, that would be more likely."

"You always talk to yourself, or is it a soul thing?"

Buffy came down the stairs. A smile tugged at Spike's lips as he noted her 'yummy sushi' pajamas. "What're you doing up?"

She sat down on the last step. "Couldn't sleep. Since you're awake, I just wanted to thank you for… well you know, stopping me back in the cemetery. I shouldn't have…"

He grinned. "What would you have done if I were asleep?"

"Staked you."

"Ah."

He watched Buffy's face scrunch as she tried to express herself. "Look," he said, "no need to thank me. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened anyway. I know I'm devilishly handsome, and I lost the stick I beat girls off with."

Buffy's eyes lit up with mirth. "If you want, I'll get you another."

"Girl or stick?"

She shrugged.

Spike said, "I was kidding when I said I was a gorgeous beast."

"I'm pretty sure you said you were devilishly handsome." She peered at his bare chest. "Do you shave your body, or is it naturally hairless?"

Spike cupped his pectorals in outrage. "You're peeking at me!" he chuckled. "And by the way, you're a gorgeous beast too." After a pause he followed, "A gorgeous woman, rather."

"Thanks," she answered awkwardly, feeling the mood descend. "I don't shave my chest, either."

"No need to lie. Some women have pituitary problems, that's all."

She snorted angrily and Spike raised his hands. "Kidding."

He reached for his cigarettes than thought better of it. "So," Buffy said, "you never answered Dawn earlier. Just what are we-to each other-in your future?"

"Your future too, luv. We ... had ... lots of sex." After he said it Spike looked away, feeling like he could have said it better. "Uh-you liked it," he went on.

Buffy let it go. "So why'd you stop me tonight?"

"Oh. Well, you're going to break it off with me after your Captain Cardboard shows up. He'll have a wife, and you'll be ashamed of what we got." He shook his head and huffed, "Women."

"Riley gets married?"

"Yeah. She and Red are going to be email pals."

Buffy pondered this. "Willow and Riley's wife are friends."

Spike said, "You told Willow and Dawn they shouldn't resent her. So I was told."

Buffy rose and went to the cot. She motioned for him to move aside to give her room to sit. "I only said it to be nice. I didn't mean it."

He laughed. "You know all this now, eh?"

"Unless I go absolutely nuts in the future."

Spike snaked his arm around her waist, unsure what her reaction would be. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he suppressed a triumphant smile. "This is our love nest, isn't it?" He patted the cot. "We have a go on this thing the very night before I died."

She lifted her face from his shoulder and looked at Spike. He squeezed his eyes shut, recognizing the familiar taste of foot in his mouth. Solemnly he smacked his skull against the wall.

"Ooh, don't do that," Buffy cautioned, running a finger down his cheek.

"No?"

"You may crack the concrete. I don't need problems."

"Now my bloody head hurts."

"Good." She kissed his cheek.

He lightly bumped his head against hers. "How's that?"

Buffy rubbed her head. "You have a rock for a head. Don't do it again."

"Sorry," Spike said sincerely. He met Buffy's eyes and for the first time he noted a difference between this Buffy and the one he knew from this time. The eyes were the same green hue, but what was lacking were pain, defiance ... rage. His Buffy's eyes sometimes registered an emptiness that was frightening. They could appear loaded with fire, and not passionate fire - the kind of flame that burned unpleasantly, that scorched away all tenderness and caring. He recalled the fights he had with future Buffy. Exchanging roundhouse kicks and haymaker punches. That bint could make him totally mad with anger. This Buffy seemed light and carefree, had a sense of humor. She was more childlike than the burned-out Slayer who engaged in mutual rape with him in a disintegrating house. This Buffy was soft, vulnerable. Almost afraid. He wondered what she feared. Perhaps she feared him?

She squeezed his hand. "You seem different. I feel safe with you."

"Mmm, thanks."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" she asked timidly. "It's okay if you don't want me to. I just thought… never mind."

Spike held her back. "Wait for an answer before you skitter away."

"I get nightmares," she told him. "I don't get much sleep."

He made more room on the cot for her. "By all means. This is your house. Sleep. I'll watch over you."

She lay beside him and Spike gathered the top sheet over them. He brushed the top of her head with his lips, taking in her aroma, vanilla scented shampoo along with the faint but sweet musk of her skin.

"What kind of nightmares?" he asked.

"Just ... memories of when I was in hell."

Spike frowned. "You mean dreams of hell? You said memories."

She looked sideways at him. "You must know. I went to hell, and Willow pulled me out. Don't you know that from the future?"

Spike sat up and felt struck by a blow.

"What is it?"

Spike shook his head.

XxXxXxXxXx

Past-Spike watched Willow and Tara sleep from his perch in the tree outside their window. He crept along a bough until he could reach out and slide the pane upward. There was little sound and the Wicca lovers remained in slumber. He lightly hopped into the room and tiptoed to the bed.

He slid his hand over Willow's mouth and whispered, "Wakey wakey, Red. I need a favor."

Willow blinked at him and he withdrew his hand. "Are you Spike-Spike, or future Spike?"

He gritted, "I'm the Spike. The one you'd better listen to."

Willow nodded. "But it's not evil, is it?"

"Research. You'll cast a spell. Okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah but - it isn't evil, is it?"

Past-Spike gave her a hard look. "This copy of me, there's something wrong."

He waited as she sneaked out of bed and moved to the closet. "I - I have to get dressed."

Spike glanced at the slumbering Tara.

"I won't wake her," Willow whispered. "I promise."

He left the room and she dressed quickly and joined him in the hall. quietly. Past-Spike was in the hall.

"This is between you and me," he hissed.

"Right."

They went downstairs and out the front door. "Where are we going?" Willow asked.

"The magic Box. Say, do you have a key?"

"We all do."

"Good. We need the right book."

"Okay, but we'd better be out before Anya gets in. And - and we have to leave it as clean as we find it."

"Yeah, yeah." Spike tucked a cigarette between his lips and lit it. "By the way, anything you want?" he said. "Since your doing me a good turn an all."

Willow shrugged. "Let's say you own me one."


	8. Don't Cross the Streams

Buffy's eyes darted from Lorne to Willow. They both stood with their arms crossed over their chests in an act of stubbornness.

"Guys, we need to find Spike," Buffy said. "This is no time for a battle of the wills."

Willow shook her head. "I refuse to sing. There's no chance in heaven or hell, or- or any other place, that you'll make me sing."

Lorne tsked. "Shame, I'd love to get our blondie bear back a.s.a.p. I guess we'll just have to do it a harder way."

Buffy grimaced and muttered, "I thought we weren't going to call him that."

Willow ignored Buffy's complaints and argued her point. "Why do you even want this? Did I ever do something evil to you?"

"Me? No. But I heard about your little run with the black magiks. I have to give over total control of my mind to you, and I won't do that unless I'm sure that you're not going to wipe it, or make me a vegetable."

Willow squinted her eyes into an annoyed glare. "Don't tempt me and we'll have no problems."

Lorne pointed his finger at her. "See! That sounds evil. No song, no brain sweep, or whatever it is you'll be doing in my skull."

Both Lorne and Willow turned their backs on each other with a grunt.

Buffy hung her head. Time to really get involved, she thought. She moved to Willow's side and put her hand lightly on her shoulder. "Willow?"

Willow stood firm, her eyes staring straight ahead of her. "I am not singing. We'll find another way of getting to Spike."

Buffy slid her hand under Willow's chin and turned her eye to her. "Willow, I need you to do this." Buffy let Willow see her pain, her loneliness. "I was just able to keep it together when I thought Spike was dead, that there was no way to save him." Buffy bit back her emotions before they got the better of her. "Even then I slayed the pain away. Help me, please Willow."

Willow sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and worked it nervously.

Buffy saw her upper hand and continued. "Besides, I like your singing, and Lorne owns a karaoke club." A smile tugged at the corner of Buffy's mouth. "And he told me a story about Angel singing Barry Manilow."

Willow threw her hands up with a growl of frustration. "Fine! I'll sing a darn song." Willow stuck her index finger at Buffy. "You owe me, big time. I mean, this isn't a 'hey I owe you one' kinda thing, you owe me."

Buffy nodded. "Of course."

"I mean it! One day, and that day will come, I'll call upon you to do me a service for me." Willow shook her finger slightly.

Buffy hugged Willow before pushing her towards the stage. "Just pick a song you like, and everything will be fine."

Lorne leaned against the bar. "Come on Cherry Pie, let me hear those beautiful vocals of yours."

Willow threw Buffy a look that clearly spoke of how much she hated the fact she was about to sing.

Buffy bit her lip and stifled a giggle as Willow sang and bobbed her head to the music. Her movements went against the rhythm and her voice was too soft for the Spice Girls song. 

Willow walked off the stage as the music ended. She looked pointedly at Buffy, who was trying not to giggle from behind her hand. "Not a word."

Lorne went to Willow and tossed an arm over her shoulders. "You were fine, Shortcake. And now we can go on with the brain scan."

Wesley cleared his throat. "How are we even sure that this is the right course of action?"

Before anyone could counter his remark, an eleven-foot gray demon appeared in the middle of the room with a blast of white light that threw Lorne and Willow back.

Buffy's shoulders sagged slightly. "Why? Why do the big ugly demons always pick an important moment to come a knocking?"

The demon's eyes zeroed in on Willow and Lorne. "Stop magic. Crush witch and demon," it intoned dumbly.

Buffy stepped between the demon and his targets. She stood within hitting range of the demon she mentally dubbed Stay Puft. "Enough proof for you, Wes?" Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Stay Puft swung his arm through the air in what would have been a devastating blow, had Buffy not ducked. Stay Puft roared harshly, his noise made the other's in the club cover their ears.

Buffy barked, "Okay, we get it. Big stupid rock is pissed. Shut up!"

Stay Puft stopped his bellow of annoyance and blindsided Buffy with a kick. Just before the hit landed, an invisible force shielded Buffy. The force threw Stay Puft back into the bar.

Buffy's head swiveled as she looked for the source of her invisible savior. Her eyes lock on Willow. "You?"

Willow shook her head slowly. "Na-ah."

Lorne raised his hand. "This is a non-violence demon bar, Cinderella. If someone tries to hurt someone else," Lorne waved his hand at the demon, who started ripping his way out of the bar. "I just got that fixed!" Lorne whined. "I need to stop bringing Angel's friends here."

Buffy nodded. "Looks like we're moving this fight outside." Buffy unsheathed the stake she kept at the small of her back, and continued to taunt the demon as she eased towards the door.

Stay Puft growled and charged Buffy in a fit of anger.

Buffy side stepped and Stay Puft ran past her, right through the front door of the club. Buffy glanced at the others. "I'll be back soon, and when I do, I'll have the name of the guy who sent such a beautiful gift." Buffy's words dripped with a fake sugary sweet tone as she stepped out of the club.

Willow looked over at Wesley and frowned. "Where's the Vengeance Demon?"

Wesley's eyes searched the club. He shrugged. "I haven't a bloody clue."

Lorne groaned and sat heavily on a stray chair. "We lost a person? Looks like Angel's security guys aren't the only ones who need to work on their vigilance."

Buffy came through the door a moment later, she grinned as she wiped sweat from her forehead. "I know who's after us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not mentioned, but I think Lorne would have rebuilt his bar after starting at W&H.


	9. Rude Interlude

The door to the basement creaked as it opened and Tara cringed. She tiptoed down the stairs, careful not to make more noise. She nudged Spike's shoulder, mindful of the sleeping slayer.

Spike's arm instinctively tightened around Buffy and his eyes snapped open. "What's the matter, luv?"

Tara looked at her feet. "Xander doesn't trust you."

Spike raised his scarred eyebrow. "That's news?"

Tara looked up. "He called, uh… Angel. Willow says that's not a good thing. She said that you'll be upset."

Spike rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "How long do I have 'til the great poof is here?"

"Um, he's here n-now." She smiled sheepishly at Spike. "We just found out when… well, when Angel and Xander c-came in."

"Isn't it daylight?"

"Y-yes. Angel did the same thing you do."

Spike nodded and glanced at Buffy. "Stall them luv? I'll wake the slayer and come straight up."

Tara hesitantly agreed and went back upstairs.

Spike smiled down at Buffy as she clung to his chest in her sleep. Why couldn't my Buffy be like this? he thought. He kissed her eye lids and a smile played at her lips. Spike nuzzled her cheek and kissed the side of her mouth. "It's time to rise, Buffy," he whispered in her ear.

Buffy buried her face into his chest. "Ten more minutes."

"Tired?" He kissed her forehead and rolled off the cot. "Okay then, I'll let you sleep, but his Grand Poofiness is here, I must hop to his beckon bloody call or he'll brood. I can't do that to the others... except Harris."

Buffy sat up and palmed her eyes. "Let him, Dawn will kick his ass."

Spike paused, his arms above his head and the hem of his shirt obscuring his vision. He cocked his head. "Could it be? Buffy Summers not singing the praise of Peaches?"

Buffy shrugged defensively. "What? Can't I think he's annoying? I dated him for goodness sake!"

Spike pulled his shirt over his head and kneeled in front of Buffy. He leaned forward and ran his lips against the side of her mouth. "Yes, you're allowed. I was a little surprised is all. Last I saw you and him together, you two were trying to get an up close and personal lesson on reading lips."

"When was that?" Her brow furrowed.

"Well... it was in the future, but it..." He sighed.

Buffy ran her fingers through Spike's soft curls. "I'm not her, I'm me, and me isn't planning on kissing Angel... ever, ever again. Not when you're still here."

Spike stared at her in awe. He brought his hands to her face and kissed her. He rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you." His words were barely over a whisper. "I love you, Buffy."

Buffy pulled back and looked at Spike sadly. "Spike, I can't say it back… I'm sorry, I-"

Spike brushed his lips against hers, stopping her. "It's okay. I know you don't love me." Spike caressed Buffy's cheek with his thumb. "When I say I love you, it's not because I want you to say it back, or because I expect anything from you. I'm saying it because it's true, and you deserve all the love in the world."

Tears welled in Buffy's eyes. "What if I don't believe that anymore? There's too much I can't do. Too many I couldn't save."

Spike smiled sadly. "We all have our crosses to bear, some heavier than others. Buffy, let me help you bear that weight. Just let me love you."

Buffy collapsed into Spike's arms, his shirt balled in her fists as she cried into his chest.

He rocked her on his heels as he rubbed her back and whispered softly in to her hair. "S'okay Buffy. I'm here. Always here."

The door to the basement opened once more, this time Angel came charging down the stairs. "Spike, what did you do to Buffy?"

Spike craned his neck to glare at Angel over his shoulder. "Sod off. Nobody down here needs or wants your poofy arse around at the mo."

Angel grabbed the neck of Spike's shirt and with a vicious yank tore Spike and Buffy apart. Angel released Spike, letting the force of the pull propel Spike into the wall behind him.

Buffy stared in horror as Spike's body hit the cement wall with a strength that would break a human. The cement cracked and Spike slumped to the ground. Buffy looked up at Angel, confused.

Angel knelt next to Buffy. "Are you okay, Buffy? What did Spike do to you, did he hurt you?"

Spike spit blood from his mouth and stood on slightly shaky legs. "Didn't hurt her, you berk."

Angel spun to his feet and faced Spike. "You did something. Buffy was crying." Angel stepped towards Spike menacingly.

Spike ran his tongue over his teeth and swallowed the rest of the blood in his mouth. "Comforting count as some sort of abuse in your book?" Spike matched Angel's step, his eyes flashed from blue to yellow and his fangs elongated as he went into game-face.

Angel followed suit, growling at Spike. "You're a monster, Spike. You cause pain, not cure it."

"May be a monster, but at least I aspire to be more." Spike closed his eyes, his fangs retracted and when he looked at Angel again his eyes were blue. "I wanted more, I chose. You'd still be preying on kiddies and nuns if not for that gypsy curse."

Angel shot forward and tackled Spike and they hit the floor together.

Spike shoved his forearm under Angel's chin, holding his snapping jaws at a safe distance. "Bugger," he hissed. "More aggressive now, aren't we? Must've hit a sore spot."

Angel pounded Spike's ribs with hammer blows, spewing saliva in his fury.

"Stop it!" Buffy screamed. "Angel, get off him."

Spike desperately gasped air into his lungs, unable to taunt without it. "Right," he rasped. "It's time I finish this."

He pinched Angel's nose with his free hand, partly to humiliate but also to distract him as he maneuvered his feet. Shifting both hands to Angel's shoulders he pulled him down while bending his knees and levered Angel's body upwards above him. As Angel groped for a handhold he flipped him hard overhead. Angel's head smashed into the same wall he had bounced Spike into, and he dropped in a heap. Spike hopped to his feet and kicked Angel savagely in the stomach.

Angel folded in on himself. He lifted pained eyes to Spike. "Not much of a kick," he huffed with effort. "Maybe ... you do have a soul."

Spike wiped his mouth. "I am a monster, Angelus. Don't think my soul will stop me from killing you. I'd just as soon leave you to be vacuumed up. Buffy's the only reason you're not dust."

"Your soul would allow you to kill Angel?" Buffy's eyes stayed fixed warily on Spike.

He sank down beside her on the cot and rubbed his bruised face. "He's the one who taught me to kill, turned me into one like him. Having a soul makes me want to kill him more."

Buffy nodded. She stood up. "Let's head upstairs. I'm sure the living room has been made vampire-friendly."

She and Spike headed up the stairs. Angel slowly rolled to his feet and slapped dust from him. Buffy paused at the top of the stairs.

"You coming?"

Angel nodded bleakly.

In the living room Willow spoke quietly with Tara. "I'm really, really sorry, Tara. I have to help this… this guy with, um… science and history. I'll be back as soon as possible, I promise."

Tara eyed her cautiously. "Can't you put it off?"

Xander spoke up. "Yeah Will, look - there's a scooby meeting. Don't tell me homework's more fun than demony Hellmouthy stuff."

"I promised the guy I'd help him. Gotta go."

Dawn shrugged. "A promise is a promise."

Anya said, "From the look of Angel and Spike, this is going to be good. Go on, Willow, we'll let you know how it turns out." She reflected momentarily. "Buffy's life is like a soap opera."

Buffy snapped, "I am not a crappy soap opera. Passions is a soap opera... right Spike?"

Spike cleared his throat. "Mmm, daytime drama."

Anya laughed. "Spike watches soaps?"

"Let's get on with it," Angel said.

Spike dropped into the a love seat. "Get on with what, oh mighty hair-gelled one?"

Angel ignored him.

Buffy sat on the couch next to Anya, and Dawn moved from her armchair to sit between Angel and Spike, to ensure a minimum safe distance.

She smiled sweetly. "So, how did everyone sleep?"

XxXxXx

Willow knocked on Past-Spike's crypt door before she slipped in. "Spike?" she called. "Hey Spike, I have the stuff for the spell."

Past-Spike climbed up from the lower level. He didn't smile. "Let's get on with it then. The sooner that bugger's control over Buffy is gone, the better."

Willow set out the magic supplies. "You sure about this? I mean, something might go wrong. Someone might can get hurt."

Spike hopped up onto his sarcophagus and crossed his legs. "No one's going to get hurt except me, Red. Just work the magiks."

"Fine, but if something goes wrong - and it can, believe me - I'm blaming you."

Past-Spike lay back and crossed his arms in classic Bella Lugosi. "Wake me when you're finished."

Willow grumbled silently, but sat on the floor and lit incense and four candles. She arranged animal bones, runic stones and the Orb of Thesulah then started chanting.

"Quod perditum est, invenietur,

Not dead, nor not of the living,

Spirits of the interregnum, I call

God, bind him, cast his heart from the evil realm."


	10. A Key to the Past

Willow cocked an eyebrow. "How'd you get the name of the guy who sent the big rock dude?"

Buffy shrugged and sat at a booth. "Rocks have feelings too." She grinned. "They feel it if you break stuff on them."

Willow gaped. "You tortured it?"

Wesley butted in. "It had to be done, I would expect no less from a slayer. Now, what is the name?"

Buffy looked at Wesley long and hard before she decided that she liked him better than when he was her Watcher. "D'Hoffryn."

Willow groaned. "Wasn't that Anya's old boss?"

"Yeah. He's the reason Angel wouldn't let me break Hapless' necklace"

"Halfrek, Cupcake," Lorne corrected Buffy. "And D'Hoffryn is not a honcho to be messed with. He's, well, scary. If he doesn't want this done, than we better watch each other's backs," Lorne said.

Buffy tightened her fists. "I need to kill something. You guys do the magic, I'll be back."

She stormed out before the others could argue. The fresh air calmed Buffy. She walked through the streets of L.A. and wondered if Spike had bought cigarettes from a smoke-shop she saw, or if he had had a drink at a bar she passed.

"Did he think about me while doing those things?" she asked herself. "Does he even want me back?"

"Sounds like you're having a rough time."

Buffy spun to the building beside her. A blonde sat on the steps heading up to a house for stray teens. "You don't know the half of it," Buffy mumbled.

The blonde smiled. "At least it doesn't sound like demons are the problem this time."

Buffy stuttered before setting the girl with her hardest slayer glare. "How do you know about demons?"

"You don't remember me? It's okay, I don't suppose I made the same impact on your life that you did for mine. Call me Anne."

Buffy's mouth fell open. "You, I remember you. The summer that I ran away from home? I gave you my job, right?"

Anne's smile widened. "You do remember."

Buffy sat next to Anne. "Of course I do. You helped me decide to go back home. What are you doing here?"

"I run this house. I know better than anyone that sometimes you need some help. You helped me, now I help them."

Buffy shook her head slowly. "Wow, I never thought I'd see you again."

Anne made a small noise of indifference. "We never know what fate has in store for us. What had you looking so sad?"

Buffy sighed and rubbed her face with her palms. "The man I love died." Buffy raised her hand to cut off Anne's apology. "He came back."

"A vampire?" Anne asked.

"Yeah, but he was one before he died. He has a soul." Buffy giggled at Anne's wide eyed incredulousness.

"Another one? Does he have a 'high and mighty, I'm better than you' attitude?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So you've met Angel."

Anne nodded. "He gave me 'blood money,' and tried to guilt me out of it."

"Well that's not Spike. He's … sweet, almost. He doesn't power brood either. He and Angel are as opposite as souled vampires can get."

"So what did he do to have you like this?" Anne looked at Buffy with concern.

Buffy buried her face into her hands. "He never told me that he was back. Now he's gone and I have to save him, but I don't know if he'll want me when I do." Her voice was choked with tears and muffled by her hands.

Anne patted Buffy's thigh. "If he loves you, he'll want you. If he doesn't, you wouldn't want him anyway."

Buffy sucked in a shuddering breath and tried to compose herself. She brushed away the tears from her cheek. "But I don't think I could go on without him. I know he loves me, but I must have really hurt him. I mean, he didn't try to contact me, or get to me."

Anne scooped up Buffy's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I suck at relationships, but it seems to me, that if you guys love each other, then you can make it through your past, and into your future."

Buffy opened her mouth to say something, but her cell phone cut her off. Buffy dug it out of her pocket and read her text. She turned to Anne. "Thank you. I'll think about what you said, but I have to go."

Anne smiled. "I hope I helped. You did more for me than you know. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, just ask." She motioned to the building behind her. "Chances are that I'll be here. It's where I usually am."

Buffy stood. "You already helped; I'd say we're even now. But I would really like to talk again."

They exchanged small smiles and nods before Buffy left.

She strode into the Lorne's club. "What's the —" She stopped dead. "What's Dawn doing here?"

Dawn walked calmly to Buffy and kicked her in the shin. "Jerk," Dawn said.

"Ow," Buffy said as she ran her fingers up and down her now sore shin. "What did I do this time? And why there? It really hurts."

"Why didn't you tell me that Spike is back? I can't believe you'd keep that from me!" Dawn stepped on Buffy's foot before she turned and stomped over to Willow's side.

"And why is my sweet sister here, again?" Buffy asked tightly.

Willow sighed. "I need to tap into her key power."

"What? Explain-y."

Willow put her fingers on either side of her head and thought of a way to word her explanation. "I can open a portal to the dimension we need, but I can't keep it open by myself. That's where Dawn comes in."

Buffy rotated her hand in the universal sign to continue.

"Well, Dawn was made to open dimensions. I can tap into that power to hold the portal open. But I'll only ever be able to open one dimension using Dawn. After I do this, this dimension will be the only one Dawn can hold open until..."

"Until I'm a green blob again," Dawn added. 

"Right." Willow nodded. "We have one try at this; I better have the right place."

Buffy nodded. "I believe in you, Wil. Do it."

Willow turned to Dawn and grasped her hands. "Ready?"

Dawn took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."

Willow began to chant softly, her voice grew louder as the seconds ticked by. Willow yelled the last words. "So mote it be."

In a blast of white a swirling vortex of blue appeared.

Willow dropped to her butt and looked up at Dawn, who stood staring wide eyed at the portal. "Wow," Willow giggled. "What a rush."

Buffy looked to Lorne and Wesley. "You two stay here. We'll be back soon."

They nodded and Buffy, Dawn and Willow took each other's hands. Buffy smirked at them and they stepped into the portal together, and the swirling colors swallowed them up.

Lorne glanced at Wesley. "Am I the only one feeling left out here?"


End file.
